Wednesday, April 04, 2007

And I didn't even feel guilty!

Which is growth.

Tonight I drove Liam and his LAX (lacrosse) buddy to their game on my way to grad school. He got out of the car and I said, "Tonight, you've got to score. Dad and I won't be there, so you've got to do it!" He laughed. "O-kaaay Mom."

And he did! He not only scored, he got an assist. A really good assist. His coach went nuts and said, "Liam, where has this play been all year?" Made me laugh. This is only the fourth game. Liam had become a pretty proficient scorer on the elementary team last year, but moving up to junior high meant he was competing with much bigger, faster kids. It threw off his scoring. Well, tonight he stepped it up!

The good news: I was so happy for him I didn't feel unhappy for me having missed it. It struck me that sometimes it's probably great to perform on your own, for the sake of the game, without any other reason than the game.


Kansas Bob said...

Love this post Julie. You are a great mom! I think that you have captured the heart of individuation - that process of letting go of our teenage children.

I love the idea of loving the game ... doing it because you love it and not for any other reason ... especially doing it because an overbearing parent wants you to.

Now if you could just get a Vulcan mind meld thing going you could go around visiting fields where kids are playing soccer, football, etc and help a bunch of parents with this individuation thing :)

Ampersand said...

I completely understand this post, Julie. I have a love/hate relationship with missing dd's riding lessons. I hate missing an opportunity to see her ride, but I love that she has no separation anxiety and the ownership level to want to be there whether I am or not!

carrie said...

There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty! I wouldn't have even thought of that if you ahdn't mentioned it. It's great to try to be there, but I've always thought I was there more for me than my kids. You know what I mean? I rode my only two sanctioned races without my parents there. It didn't scar me (or them) for life! LOL!

Good for Liam! Good for you! He is obviously playing because he love it.