Pushing Papers

I have paper aversion.

It's almost New Year's Day and I have these various forms to fill out... They call my name in the middle of insomniac nights, they peek out from the files on my desk, they crowd my consciousness when I'm trying to concentrate on reading...

Passport apps for six people—do you know what a nightmare this is for a chaotic random like me? I have to have photos of the right size and background, birth certificates for six (including one from the embassy since firstborn was born abroad), social security numbers, birth dates and places for my parents (like I remember), and I have to decide if two of my kids have red or auburn hair.... Then we have to truck down to the post office en masse during Jon's work hours to actually submit said forms. Performance anxiety!

Securities trust forms for my five kids who were given stock (woo-hoo!) in their names accidentally (booo...) which means that I must fill out five forms to put them in my name and get them signed with a Medallion Stamp (WTH is a Medallion Stamp, s'il vous don't mind?!?). That is why said forms have been left unattended in a hidden file since their arrival in my mailbox in September.

Medical bills that are supposed to be paid by insurance but that weren't which now require me to call a gazillion phone numbers while sitting on hold for a zillion minutes waiting for someone who doesn't speak English to come on the line to tell me that I am talking to the wrong person for this particular problem... And don't I have copies of my co-payments, Insurance card, old bills etc., etc.... Oh yeah, sure, right. Let me just dig through the tons of paper that bury this house and: Oh here it all is!

Uh yeah. That could happen.

Now if I could just push these papers over a cliff, maybe I'd get a decent night's sleep again.