I miss writing on my blog so I'm going to use it for writing practice. Today's topic: "Give 8 good reasons it is okay for men to lie."
Men lie. Margaritas make me drunk and Linkin Park screams. So what else is new? Well "good reasons" would be the new part. Let's do a little "top eight at 4:48" ala David, the liar, Letterman.
Number 8: A good reason to lie is to impress middle aged friends with what a stud you were as a gangly youth.
Number 7: An equally good reason to lie is to impress a female who doesn't actually care if you were a kick-ass Green Beret or simply like to wear those little hats as a fashion statement.
Number 6: Men justify lying by reminding us that everyone does it and they do it better than everyone else.
Number 5: It's a good idea to lie, they reason, if the jeans she is wearing really do make her look fat.
Number 4: Men rationalize lying by lying about lying saying that they don't lie and then they believe themselves and feel like they are good human beings who would never lie except about lying and sex with Monica Lewinsky or a gay hooker on meth in Denver.
Number 3: It is always okay to lie if it saves money or cheats the IRS.
Number 2: Lying is always okay if you are a senator who plays footsies in a men's bathroom.
Number 1 good reason that men lie: They know their women will forgive them.
Hey that was cathartic. We'll try that again tomorrow. Baby steps out of gloom.