Drinking tea with Bono

So U2 is set to announce tour dates on Monday. U2 members, of which I am one, have the "privilege" (after shelling out a mere $40 US) of purchasing two tickets during advance sales on Tuesday. Two. Two for the whole tour. Not four. Not two now and two later. TWO en toto. What a privilege. Maybe they'll let me shell out $40 more as a thank-you gift.

Uh, I'm not sure who is advising these U2 fan managers, but like, there are four members in the band. Each band member (except Adam) has a family with at least four members. Hey U2, only TWO of your family can come to the show together. Like, did anyone actually think about how lame the number 2 is in relation to a U2 concert?

Oh wait, maybe that's it. You-Two...

In any case, all anxiety hell broke loose inside my skin at the news. I have two teens who believe they are going to see U2 this time. I have a husband who is on the fence. It's too late to shell out another forty just to get two more tickets that won't be together with the other TWO anyway...(and besides, the best arena—not on the floor—tix are going for, ::choke:: ::sputter:: $160 US!) I can't buy three tickets. I can only buy TWO. Now I can buy TWO and then one more later along with the other schlubs who didn't take advantage of the fine offer to ensure advance ticket sales... and then flip a coin to see who will sit alone in the nose-bleed seats....

Or I can go to more shows with the regular, not-as-committed fans who aren't spending all of their "family-trip-to-Italy" funds to see the band through binoculars in some ignoble midwestern town (You-Who?)...

Or I can breathe into a paper bag with my ($350 US) black and red iPod plugged into my ears and pretend this isn't happening, happening, happening...

What I'd really like to do:
Pull up a chair across from Bono, offer him some tea, square my shoulders and THEN give him a piece of... my..... m i n d....



....

....

Was I saying something? Mmmmm. Yeah, the two ticket idea is so great. I mean, I just love it. And all your songs. And you are such a good writer... Oh and I was just licking the stamp for my donation to all those poor little African kids.

And like, I can't wait to see you perform in that rock 'n roll capital, Indianapolis, and the $320.00 for two tickets is just no problem whatever....

Sign my iPod? Oh, you already did. ::blush::

Mmmmmm.

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Aren't they, like, the greatest band ever?