Friday, May 05, 2006

Mission Impossible: III



Or: See Tom Run

Tom Cruise says that if you're going to do a movie like this (meaning, if he's going to do a movie that is a shoe-in for the green splat at rottentomatoes.com), you may as well do as many of your own stunts as possible. He wanted to be sure we all knew he did many stunts.

I'm here to verify that Tom Cruise in fact did all his own running. That's right - he ran past cars, in front of busses and trucks, from the insides of ugly warehouses to waiting helicopters, through the halls of the Vatican museum, down a charming old world neighborhood of Shanghai and more! Not once did I spot a stunt man running for Tom.

If you like to see Tom run, this is the movie for you.

If you like action, read the Da Vinci Code.

Now, for those hoping to see some hot love action, a warning. Each exchange of lines between Tom and what's-her-name takes about ten minutes with five minutes of silence as characters use method acting to well-up with the requisite tears. They pause so long, you can take care of business in the middle of lines! Like this:

Tom to his wife: I need you to.....

Exit theater, read a chapter of the Da Vinci Code, pee, get popcorn...

...to trust me.

Sincere wife who is a sexy nurse (huh?) named Julia: I...

Read another chapter, refill popcorn, text message your homies...

...do.

Oh.God.The.Pathos.

Where is Pierce Brosnan when you need him? At least he knew that his Bond lines were the height of cheese--so you laugh at the audacity of the gorgeous man to utter them anyway as though they were ridiculous and serious at once. Tom mistook the MI:3 lines for Shakespeare. Poor dear. Perhaps Rome confused him. (Did you know we were in Rome when he was filming?)

One wonderful benefit to an otherwise pointless flick: Philip Seymour Hoffman gets his!! For Heath Ledger fans, I have to admit, the moment of his demise was delicious.

---

Concession: There is a lot of action, obviously. But there were so many missing action scenes that I left wishing for moments barely alluded to yet critical "to the mission" which is why it felt so, I don't know, vacant of real, heart-pounding action. Blowing things up does not make suspense.

Gadgets were sufficiently cool, however. :)

8 comments:

Bilbo said...

Hi Julie,
Sounds like mindless fun. Initially I wanted to see the film but then started having second thoughts after reading Roger Eberts negative review. Then I checked the critics over at rotttentomatoes and 73% of them gave it thumbs up and alot of them thought it was the best of the triology. So where does that leave me now? Not a big fan of the series but do appreciate Cruise's developement as an actor over the years and since I have teenage boys I'll probably throw down the bucks and see it....Am really intrigued by the Da Vince Code. Love the trailers and have someone avoided all the fan fare over the years. I'll see that one for sure.....

julieunplugged said...

Bill, I have to admit, I like to see the MI movies, the Bond movies and general action flicks. This one wouldn't be a total loss of money. I was shocked by the rotten tomaotes reviews. Ebert's really fit my experience. Still, for those who like gadgets and blow ups and seeing Tom Cruise run (and flex those biceps), it's entertaining enough for an afternoon.

SusansPlace said...

I've been wondering whether I should see the latest "Mission Impossible". I'm happy to hear you didn't report tons of car chase scenes, those are worse than running scenes in my mind. ;-)

See Tom Run. haha There might be enough inspiration in those three words to get me there.

Susan

Chuck said...

Responding to the Da Vinci Code subthread :-), I hope the movie is better than the book. I wasn't offended theologically by the book, just thought it was poorly and implausably written. I really don't understand what all the hoopla is about with that one. It could have been a very interesting book if the modern timeline wasn't so unbelievable and sensationalized. I'm sure I'll still go for the movie out of curiousity and enjoyment of Tom Hanks.

I personally liked MI:2, but it's probably due to my appreciation of director John Woo. (And after typing the last sentence, I realized it could be a two line poem - it rhymes!)

Beth said...

I mentioned your summation (See Tom Run. Run, Tom, Run) to ds and his girlfriend. She thought a minute and said, "Yeah, he basically runs for five days with nothing to eat and without going to the bathroom." I opted last night for Akeelah and the Bee, although I had to go by myself. No one else wanted to see a movie about a spelling bee. Except me. :-)

julieunplugged said...

DaVinci Code: Can't wait! Thought the book was just jammed with interesting data woven into a thin plot that was easy to read in spite of so much historical and artistic material. Thought the "love interest" in Da Vinci Code as added by editor later (Have main character place hand on girl's thigh here in chapter 12, or whereever).

"Akeelah and the Bee" was great! Loved it. I will probably review it for my homeschool blog for tomorrow. The writing isn't as clever as it could have been and some of the acting is not inspired (or perhaps the word would be "flat"), but the main character is great and the ending surprises enough to make up for it.

I cried. :)

Dave said...

Has anyone seen United 93 yet? That would be the next movie I go see when I find time. I was hoping to see American Dreamz but it came and left the theaterz pretty quickly. (You can see my tastes trend more toward the political these days.) I'm interested in Da Vinci Code as well. MI3 can wait until video as far as I'm concerned, but I figure it's pretty entertaining for what it is.

The last movie I saw in theaters was "Benchwarmers," which made me laugh quite a bit, but I just couldn't bring myself to blog about it!

Bari B. said...

The DaVinci Code really doesn't interest me. I haven't even read the book. As for Tom Cruise. I just can't stomach him anymore. I used to have a warm spot in my heart for him. Now anything about him goes into my circular file.