Friday, November 10, 2006
Speaking about the Speaker
Nancy Pelosi is set to lead men come January.
I wonder if the congress has noticed that she wears skirts. That means that she is about to exercise authority over men. Or at least, she's going to use her feminine wiles to woo them to her ways of thinking, right? She will be Bush's achilles heel in stilettos. And that's just plain dangerous, isn't it?
See, the thing of it is, I've heard that women aren't supposed to lead men. There's this whole line of thinking that goes something like this. Women aren't supposed to lead men. Oh sure they're equal, and they are valued as equals. They can vote and think and write blogs, they can drive cars and run corporations and raise upwards to five children (high five Nancy!). Women can star in music videos and start clothing lines, they can fly into space, teach in universities, be ambassadors to other countries, and go to jail for crimes.
But for gawd-sake, they must not lead men! That would be a violation of all things holy.
There's a great set of reasons for why women can't lead men that I will itemize below so that you will understand why this is a serious issue that we all must take seriously, if we want to be taken seriously when we discuss the seriousness of this issue.
1. Women aren't supposed to lead men.
2. Therefore women shouldn't lead men.
3. And because women aren't supposed to and shouldn't, they had better not lead men.
If you want to probe this line of thinking, it is rooted in a historically grounded argument from Scripture and the identity of Jesus Christ and goes something like this:
1. Paul said so. If you ask why he said so...
2. The Bible says so and if Paul said it in the Bible, then that's just how it is. As Dobson said on one radio show: "If you don't like it, take it up with God. This was not my idea."
3. If you ask why God says so, it's because Jesus is a guy, a dude, a male, a testosterone filled human with lowercase apparatus. He's our model of leadership, ergo, males are our model of leadership.
So let's review: the male should lead the female because the female should never lead the male, and that's because centuries of teaching about what the Bible says by males says that women cannot lead men, especially since they are not males like Jesus is, and that's what God has said on the matter.
Which brings me back to Nancy Pelosi, the future Mme Speaker. Are you about to tell me that congress is not a church? That God only meant that women can't lead men if the sign in the front of the building says something like "First Old Regular Baptist Church of Jesus Christ"? (We have one of these up the street.)
I'm so relieved. Nancy will not be violating the clear cut rules for women leading men after all.