Don't let your woman grow
Build little fences and walls
Stop up the cracks with
- cares
children
what's for dinner
sex
bad habits
fast cars
and career plans
But don't let her grow.
Don't let your woman go
Send her picture postcards of
- tropical breezes
spas and pedicures
captured dreams
bound in 4x6 cardstock
But don't let her go.
if
she climbs the wall
pries open the crack
tunnels under the fence—
YELL, STOMP, RAGE
Blame, shame, withdraw
punish, smirk, humiliate
For if
she sees her reflection...
she will fall in love
and then no one will be home
to cook your dinner
Julie Bogart (Chicago May 8, 2005)
3 comments:
Thanks, Jules. This touches home.
What do you mean at the end about seeing her reflection and falling in love? I'm not sure I get that part.
------Beth
I have to work on the reflection line, it hit me as I drove today that I didn't give any context for it at the top. I need a mirror or something! :)
The idea is that opportunities for growth allow us to see ourselves, to fall in love with who we get to know in ourselves. That person becames real, a presence that must be protected and known and fed.
If we don't fall in love with ourselves and protect her, we are in danger, actually, of projecting and falling in love with someone else (who gives us a sense of who we might become if we had the gumption and freedom to become it!).
The goal of the controlling spouse/husband, then, is to keep her from that revelation so she will stay who he wants her to be.
Julie
Hi Julie,
Enjoyed reading your comments here. Crosses paths with my recent readings and ponderings. Not exactly sure, not that I need to know,the circumstances or person/persons you had in mind when you wrote this...but... Apparently it is not uncommon for people close to us to not welcome the changes/growth in our lives even when the "new and improved" versions of us will benefit our relationship with them. Some people just have a hard time adjusting to change especially in relationships that they feel comfortable. Sometimes they may even attempt to sabotage our hopes and dreams to keep the status quo relationship going which can be very difficult because we all need encouragement and support during those times when are taking risks to grow and reach our potential. Control issues often come into play as well during times of change. Some people can't handle change because their need to control is threatened. ....anyway...enough armchair pyschobabble. Enjoyed your comments and may God help us all to encourage and support each other, especially those people close to us, to grow and change into the people God intended them to be.....
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