Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Operation "Corrupt Homeschooled Youth"

Frozen lemonade from Jacob's birthday party where conservative Christian homeschooled kids were exposed to imaginary adult beverages and poker... with devastating results.

Cheap teenage intoxication recipe:

1 can of frozen lemonade concentrate
1 pitcher full of ice

Whip, frappe, puree on low then switch to atom-splitting speed in a blender until motor smokes.

Pour into clearance rack champagne glasses post New Year's Eve. Gently open umbrellas so that they don't "freak out" and snap.

Toast the birthday boy.

Watch kids walk into walls, slur their words, tickle each other (touching, touching, touching) and giggle so hard frozen lemonade squirts out their noses... all while saying (each one had to say this at least once): "Man what did you put in this stuff? Tequila? I'm so drunk."

Hours of entertainment without an ounce of Southern Comfort! Such a deal.


Dave said...

Next year, are you going to introduce the candy cigarettes that produce a little puff of sugar dust when you blow into the end of 'em?

julieunplugged said...

Some of these not-so-virtuous kids snuck them in! I saw tiiny puffs of smoke coming from that one dark corner...

So, we'll probably have to go for something harder... shot glasses of apple juice, perhaps?

my15minutes said...

Julie this is so cute. Please wish your ds my best. Love that kid...

So, what were the reactions of the parents of the corrupt homeschooled youth?

julieunplugged said...

Fortunately for me, they seemed quite happy with the evening since it got rave reviews from the kids. Not sure any of the guests talked about being "drunk." ;-) I was in the other room roaring every time I heard *another* one say how much the alcohol was affecting her. Really, come on!

Perhaps the more taboo something is, the more desireable it becomes?

And the poker set came from one of the conservative members of the group...

Maybe as long as adult behaviors are imitated, parents are fine with it. I don't know. I was surprised, to say the least.